DATELINE–dolekemp96.org

Bob Dole tells the Young People of America to GIT ONLINE!

While Senator Emeritus Bob Dole huffed and puffed his way through Sunday’s 90 minute debate against acting president and fellow Republican, Bill Klinton, he stole the show with his closing remarks addressed to the Young People of America.

Painting a grim picture of non-virtual life in the 21st century, Dole warned,

You’re not going to have the opportunities.
It’s going to be more deficits, more drugs,
more crime and less competence in the
American people.

Young People of America, lay down those crack babies and let Bob Dole lead you into the 21st century. Get in goose step with the Republican Party and GIT ONLINE! As for what’s left of the Real WorldTM, Dole opines, “…if you care about the future of America, if you care about your future, JUST DON’T DO IT.”

Once upon a time medical technology snatched Bob Dole from the gaping maw of death in the hills of Italy. Today, the personal computing revolution will lift this candidate up onto the shoulders of a content generation which will carry him forward to victory. “We may have dreadlocks and piercings, but we’re making good money.” Multimedia for Dole! Multimedia for Dole! Multimedia for Dole!

Bob Dole made himself new on Sunday night. He needs no bridge to bear us into the 21st century. Greater opportunities. Smaller deficits. Less drug abuse. More competence. Prosperous white folk. The 1950s are the future, and the future has already arrived on the Web. Won’t you meet Bob Dole there?

This is important business. This election is
important. I ask for your support. I ask for your
help. If you really want to get involved, just tap
into my home page:

www.dolekemp96 uh… org.